Is it OK to Steal a Friend’s Baby Name? Navigating the Delicate Issue
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Is it OK to Steal a Friend’s Baby Name? Navigating the Delicate Issue

Is it ever ok to "steal" a friend's baby name? If you and someone you care about love the same names, how do you deal with this delicate situation?

It's natural to fall in love with certain baby names. Whether it's something you hear on a television show, a name you loved growing up, family names, or just a name you've chosen because you like the way it sounds, narrowing down a baby name is a fun, yet challenging task!

Whether you're a mom-to-be or are planning for your future child, it can be very off-putting for someone else to have the same name choice, especially if they are close friends or relatives. Is it ever ok to "steal" or copy a baby name that you've chosen?

The Ethics of Using the Same Name

What does "stealing" a baby name even mean?

  • The concept of “stealing” a baby name is a common worry among some parents-to-be, with some people fearing that others will copy their chosen names, somehow diminishing the value of the name they've picked out.

  • Sharing baby names with friends or family members can lead to name copying, potentially diminishing the "specialness" or uniqueness of the chosen name.

  • The power of social media sharing can also contribute to the risk of name duplication, as popular names are often talked about online.

  • Some people believe that using the same name as a friend or family member is a form of flattery, while others see it as rudeness.

  • Ultimately, the decision to use the same name as a friend or family member depends on individual preferences and values - but is it ethical?

Choosing a Baby Name: Family Member Influence

Pregnant woman writing baby names

Whether you are planning for your future daughter or son, or are pregnant and sifting through baby names for your first child, choosing a name is a big deal. Family members, especially parents and siblings, can have a huge influence on what name you choose for your child.

Lots of parents choose a baby name that honors a family member or continues a family tradition for naming. Some people try to avoid using names that are already associated with someone else, like a sibling or even a distant cousin.

Family dynamics play a role in baby naming, and some parents choose to please their family with the name they choose. Taking into consideration other people's feelings and expectations can be an important part of choosing your child's first or middle name, even before you are pregnant.

Responding to a Friend Who Chooses Your Baby Name 

Pregnant women sitting in cafe

How should you respond when friends seem to "copy" the name you choose for your little one?

If one of your friends chooses the same name that you've picked out for your baby, try to respond with grace and not get upset. There are so many people in the world, and many duplicate names out there, so in the end - consider how much it really matters? Is it worth sacrificing your friendship just because you both like the same name choice?

Whether it's an acquaintance or your best friend, copying your baby name can seem rude. Be sure to express your feelings to your friend, noting that this conflict is weighing on your mind. Communication is key, and having empathy for your close friends is important.

If this is your first child, the name probably feels even more important. If your friend isn't even pregnant, there is time for them to choose another name and not use the one you're using. You or your friend can also change your baby's middle name, so they are not exactly the same name after all.

Exploring Baby Names: Finding the Right Fit 

Baby names concept

How can you choose a baby name when it feels overwhelming?

There are so many options for baby names, whether you're having a baby girl or a baby boy. Many people have a favorite name from a young age, yet others have no idea what they want to name their kid until their birth! Consider style, trends, family values, and traditions when choosing a special name for your baby boy or girl.

If you're feeling stuck, look to pop culture for inspiration, whether it be celebrities or online blogs. You'll want to consider if your baby name choice is too unique and trendy, as trends come and go. Think about how each name option will grow with your child. Names that sound cute for kids can seem odd and childish for adults, especially when they go to apply for jobs.

Ultimately, the best baby name for your little one is the one that is special to you and your partner. Whether your friends or family agree with it or not, you have the freedom to choose what to name your kids.

What do you do when someone chooses the name you have your heart set on?

It's not uncommon for this to happen, especially if you've been talking a lot about names, have announced your first choice for a baby name, or are choosing a popular name you've heard on television or social media.

Some parents think it's a good idea not to announce their idea for a baby name before their baby is born so that no one else can choose the name they've mentioned. If you feel that someone is going to copy your top baby name choice, have a conversation with them about it. Explain your feelings and tell them you feel like they're copying your idea.

This can be tricky when families have multiple names. Maybe your distant cousins or someone who has

Of course, there are so many other names to choose from. You can always adjust your baby's middle name, the spelling of the name, or find another way to make it unique.

Moving Forward: Maintaining a Positive Relationship With Your Friend Group 

Cropped View Smiling Pregnant Women Standing by a Window

If one of your friends chooses "your" name for their new baby, focus on maintaining a positive relationship instead of holding onto resentment for your friend or your friend's child. You have the choice to let go of what happened, or let it become a pain point in your relationships.

Choosing the same name doesn't mean a person will "steal" your baby name. It could just be that it is a popular name, or a pretty unique name that you and your friend both like. Although it might be confusing when your son or daughter plays with your friend's child with the same name, there are so many other names in the world, that at the end of the day, what really matters? A name, or your friendship?

When you are pregnant, small issues can seem like huge ones. Take some time to reflect on the situation after your baby is born, perhaps consulting the advice of your husband, mother, or another trusted person in your life.

Nobody can take away the bond you have with your child, and the best thing to do sometimes is try to move past what happened.

Is it the sincerest form of flattery to "steal" a baby name?

Whether it's your sister, sister-in-law, friends, or other family members, it can be frustrating for someone to copy the name choice you fall in love with for your child. If you are pregnant, consider keeping your baby's given name a secret until they are born, or wait to announce until a couple of months before the birth - that way, no one can copy the name you've picked out.


Meet Our KeaMommy Contributor: Kaitlyn Torrez

I’m Kaitlyn Torrez, from the San Francisco Bay Area. I live with my husband and two children, Roman and Logan. I’m a former preschool teacher, currently enjoying being a stay at home mom. I love all things writing, coffee, and chocolate. In my free time, I enjoy reading, blogging, and working out.

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